Engine won’t start and the exhaust is all messed up.
The car won’t start.
I needed to move the race car out of the garage so I could bring in the new e46 DD. This would get New#6 off of the scissor list so I could try to fit the exhaust, and it would let me work on the e46 at night. But all the sudden I couldn’t get the race car to “catch”. The starter was turning the engine but it wasn’t firing. There was a schedule here that needed to be adhered to. I needed the darn car out of the garage and with quiet hours starting at 9PM and the car with no exhaust, I had only about 30min of available time to get the car started and moved. Otherwise I was hosed and the evening’s planned work was going to slip a day. And that’s always a pisser.
Although I’d done a fair amount of work on the car in the preceding week, I’d not touched engine management so I didn’t understand why the race car wouldn’t start. I spent some time standing over the engine bay scratching my head wondering “what did I change”? To check that I was getting fuel, I disconnected the fuel line and ran the starter. No fuel. Then I jumped the fuel pump relay and confirmed that the fuel pump was good. So I started focusing on the crank pos sensor, checking it’s gap, reseating the connector, and generally wiggling wires…when the CPS sensor wire popped right out of the CPS. “Ah hah” I exclaimed.
So I replaced the CPS from the copious spares, turned the ignition key and… the car still didn’t fire up. $@##!.
I went back and checked everything over again to see if I’d confused something. By then I was really scratching my head as to why my fuel pump wasn’t being told to pump fuel. At some point a person has ruled out all the low hanging fruit and is grasping for unlikely straws like…even tho you’re positive that you didn’t fool with the like connectors of the CPS and plugwire #6 sensor since the car last ran, you check anyways because e30 fairies might have switched them when you back was turned.
Eventually it was 1AM, I was out of ideas, so I decided to have a beer on it. Er, I mean sleep in it.
The next day at work I had a sudden epiphany. “Hey, didn’t I disconnect the DME cable because I was welding the other night”? So when I got home I took a look and sure enough. Altho in a casual inspection the cable looked attached to the DME, one tug of the connector made it clear that it was not attached after all. And so was solved the mystery of WHY THE HECK WON"T THIS DAMNED ENGINE START?!!
The silver lining is that the CPS with the weak cable got replaced before it failed on it’s own.
Exhaust.
I was concerned that the exhaust might have been bent in the crash and therefore not fit. I was hoping tho that the entire exhaust system had simply beeny moved backwards 8" or so when the engine was pushed back by the impact, and therefore had survived unscathed. If not entirely unscathed, “surely Midas can bend a tube a bit to make it work”, I figured.
The test fit of the exhaust had to be done in the driveway up on jackstands. The scissor lift is no place to try to work on an exhaust, but that meant working in the darkness by flashlight. To make things a little harder my exhaust is all welded together so there’s no separating pieces to ease the install.
After struggling for 90min with the 30lb very ungainly 14’ long beast by flashlight under the car in the inky darkness, I was done. The damned thing needed to go to Midas. I figured that they’d be able to do some cutting and bending to cobble together an exhaust system. I had tried and tried to get the beast to fit, but I could either run it under the car or I could push it up to the exhaust manifold but try as I might I could not seem to get it to do both. I was frustrated, dirty, and exhausted from wrestling with the beast half the night. The SOB was all messed up and wasn’t going to go on except in little pieces.
The failure of the exhaust test-fit meant the car had to go to Midas. Had to go on to the trailer to go to Midas. And had to have brakes to go on to the trailer to go to Midas. And that was a problem. The darn car, you see, really didn’t have much in the way of brakes. Since I had brake lines open for a week during the suspension and rear subframe replacement, a lot of air got into the system. The failure of the Speedbleeders and the two failure fountains (of brake fluid) from the pressure bleeder had left a bunch of air in the brake hydraulics.
After a logistical pause to conduct Class IX resupply (Armyspeak for having a beer), I marshalled my reserves of enthusisam and by 11PM I was replacing the failed Speedbleeders with normal bleeder valves. By flashlight of course. Just the fact that I found normal bleeder valves among the copious spares was a nice commentary on being organized. As I hit the AM I took a look at the pressure bleeder to discover if the cause of brake fluid fountain #2 might be overcome. This was a big deal because w/o the pressure bleeder I was going to need help bleeding the brakes. And that would be a problem.
I contemplated the least of 2 evils…I could get one of the kids to help me bleed the brakes and invite an agony of haplessness and frustration, or I could wheedle and badger until the wife grudgingly helped for 15min, knowing that she’d hold that against me for a year.
My wife cuts me an awful lot of slack to pursue my obsessions, but only with the understanding that I not bother her with them. With Italian heels on, climbing into a car that is up on jackstands, crawling over the cage and then down to sit on the hard dirty floor pan (no seat), and then creating perfect harmony between pedal and bleeder valve, all in inky darkness was going to take a long time to fade from recall.
After pondering the value of both my sanity and my marriage, I went and took another look at the pressure bleeder. In the first bit of real luck in several days it turned out that the 2nd brake fluid fountain had not been a product of a busted plastic nozzle on the jug, but instead inadequate Home Depot hose. Up in the attic spares dept in the “misc hose bin” I found some fuel line that looked like it would work ok and I installed it on the jug with a quick release fitting at the other end.
The next night I put a half liter of SuperBlue thru the system and dropped the car off of the jackstands. Nothing like a pressure bleeder to keep the divorce lawyer at bar. Then I fetched the trailer and, noticing that the brakes were still pretty bad, put the car on the trailer only minutes before the 9PM beginning of quiet hours, and carefully tucked 14’ exhaust pipe on the trailer beside the car perilously close to my fabulous new paint.
Also, I had a spare set of exhaust downtubes among the several e30’s that are disassembled in our attic, so the spare downtubes got loaded up too, in case Midas might need them. The wife doesn’t realize how many parts I have up in the attic because she doesn’t normally go up there. It’s only a coincidence that cracks are appearing in the master bedroom ceiling.
The following morning, race car, 14’ of exhaust, and the spare downtube went to Midas. And 8hrs later they were home again, The Midas Touch having no more luck than I with the bent 2-into-1 exhaust collector, I would be calling the SpecE30 exhaust guy for parts.
Altho I would not get the exhaust parts for another two weeks, the effort was ultimately successful. The pic below shows the car just back from Midas shyly wearing it’s first SpecE30 exhaust system. The flex coupling on my old downtubes was apparently cracked in the crash so another gold star for the attic based spares dept.