From the Uber Goober Hotline

#1

This is a complete unedited transcript…

UGH: Hello, Uber Goober Hotline

JP: Um…is this the goober hotline??

UGH: Yes it is, who is this?

JP: This is JP Coates again

UGH: Oh…Hello Mr Coates, what is it now?

JP: Well, I had a few minutes before “Temptation Island” started so I thought I would see if you could help me.

UGH: OK, I’ll try

JP: I am racing in a endurance series in the south east, and while I have put all my resources, testing, money and time into it we are getting beat by a couple of rednecks who drink liquor and do not even own a tire gauge. Furthermore we beat the snot out of them at Atlanta and only gained 5 points on them.

UGH: How bad did you beat them?

JP:We Whupped Em!!!, We finished 5th OA and they finished 6th!!! I mean I have whined on the SE Forum but nobody seems to care. Excuse me, I have to get a miller lite for my wife before the show starts.

3 minutes later…

JP: sorry about that, what should I do?

UGH: I would get another driver, someone who does not compete on a regular basis in Nasa or Spec e30, that is your only hope. I think Pobst is available and he also likes Miller Lite. And be sure you line him up for that long Atlanta race cause you know the Skeen likes to hang with those MLT guys.

JP: OK I will give Pobst a call, anything else?

UGH: Yes, try to move your arms when you run around the paddock, you look like Cornelius from “Planet of the Apes” and you are making all us other goobers look bad.

#2

ROFLOL :laugh: :laugh:

#3

hahahahahahahahahaha:laugh:

#4

Post of the year folks.

#5

You’re all cheaters.

Season’s not over yet…

#6

Holy Crap, that is funny!

#7

Oh that’s go good sh!t :laugh: :laugh: :laugh:

#8

It’s upsetting to me that I am now scarred for life, on both my hand and face, because of a drunken race, in which I was an unwitting accomplice, to make fun of the way JP runs. I suppose the greatest injustice is that I know not how he runs because I have yet to see, but I understand he appears to be in full goober mode. Have any of you ever seen James Clay run?

Sasha

#9

P.S. That’s right, Clay, I’m talkin’ about you. Skeen’s not a big enough fish for me–I’ve got to pick on professionals who don’t regularly monitor this forum. How’s that for manly?

#10

IndyJim wrote:

no doubt!!! funniest thing i’ve read in a while…well played Al!

#11

Ex36 wrote:

always good for a laugh…maybe we need a race between jp and jc?

#12

dmwhite wrote:

[quote]Ex36 wrote:

always good for a laugh…maybe we need a race between jp and jc?[/quote]

That better get filmed.

#13

Ex36 wrote:

[quote]Have any of you ever seen James Clay run?

Sasha[/quote]

Well, when I come to play, I’m not afraid to drop the gloves…

-Sasha - are you refering to my agility and speed, or my uncanny ability to stay upright instead of on my face?
-Skeen - certainly you would like to join in the race - schedule it for December Atlanta? I predict my particular style won’t be a standout.
-If I didn’t have to keep flip-flops from falling off, I would look less stupid when I run. If you want fun, I will throw a baseball. DW - $10 per pitch, $20 with a camera.

#14

PS - how do I change my password on this forum???

#15

JamesClay wrote:

still haven’t seen that yet…can we get a preview before the cash starts changing hands?

#16

dmwhite wrote:

This is an action, in which the preview IS the view. I can give you a list of references if you would like. I can tell you my price is probably low.

#17

How much for left handed?

#18

Maybe taking a page out of the IFU handbook BimmerWorld should sponsor some type of Spec E30 special olympic decathlon at the Road Atlanta race in Dec.

So far we have:
The JP Coates 100m Planet of the Apes Run (helmet required)
The James Clay shotput / baseball throw
The MLT hangover challenge (highest qualifier after drinking 2 gallons of beer night before)

Up for discussion -
The beertech ‘men only’ mud wrestling (will probably be voted down for inclusion this year).

#19

IndyJim wrote:

[quote]Maybe taking a page out of the IFU handbook BimmerWorld should sponsor some type of Spec E30 special olympic decathlon at the Road Atlanta race in Dec.

So far we have:
The JP Coates 100m Planet of the Apes Run (helmet required)
The James Clay shotput / baseball throw
The MLT hangover challenge (highest qualifier after drinking 2 gallons of beer night before)

Up for discussion -
The beertech ‘men only’ mud wrestling (will probably be voted down for inclusion this year).[/quote]

What about the IndyJim Enduro: who can take a single victory and see how many miles they can get out of that one race? :pinch:

#20

Gold medal winner right here!

The sticker will remember your sass.:ohmy: